Dear Compass,

My husband left me almost two years ago, after 22 years of marriage, saying that he was just unhappy. We have not gotten divorced. Since he left, he has been living as a single man, entertaining different women, and at least one or two VERY steadily. This nightmare has caused me to get more into Christ, my faith has been built up, and I have prayed earnestly for the restoration of my marriage.

One of the things I have realized through my studies is that we are given a free will. I have been faithful to our marriage, but recently I met a nice man at the grocery store and, after making a declaration of my desire to remain Christ-like, I decided to go out with him. He is comfortable with this platonic relationship.

My problem is that I am still married. Although he attends church, to my knowledge he has not trusted Christ. He seems to be getting serious about me, but I am not sure he is God-sent or if I am getting ahead of God. Nor am I sure, as a Christian, that I can even date him. How can I know if I am in alignment with the Lord?

To know if you are in alignment with the Lord, you must ask, "Am I in alignment with Scripture?" Being given a free will means you can choose good or evil. Since the Bible is our source of what is good and evil, we look to it for guidance. We are commanded to obey the laws of the land.

Submit yourselves for the Lord's sake to every human institution, whether to a king as the one in authority -1 Peter 2:13

Therefore, by the law, you are still married-he is still your husband. Therefore:

The wife should not leave her husband. -1 Corinthians 7:10b

She does him good and not evil
All the days of her life. -Proverbs 31:12

It is great that you have prayed for God to restore your marriage, but don't give up. God may have you on a five-year plan-or even a ten-year plan. We know of one lady who prayed for 30 years before her husband became a Believer and now has an incredible marriage and one awesome testimony.

. . . patient when wronged. -2 Timothy 2:24

Regarding your male friend, obviously this has become more than a "platonic" relationship. Even though you must immediately stop dating/pursuing a relationship with him (for more reasons than one! "Do not be bound together with unbelievers; for what partnership have righteousness and lawlessness, or what fellowship has light with darkness?" -2 Corinthians 6:14), God may still use you to witness to him. The best situation to come out of this would be for him to be saved and your husband to repent and come home.

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Scripture taken from the New American Standard Bible, copyright The Lockman Foundation 1960, 1962, 1963, 1968, 1971, 1972, 1973, 1975, 1977. Used by permission.

Answers to questions in GML are intended to be supplementary and in the spirit of Proverbs 11:14, 15:22, and 26:26, which calls for believers to seek counsel from more than one person. Therefore, it is not recommended that any decision be based solely on GML's answer, but rather it be considered one of several counselors when determining a course of action.